Truth of life

Understand God will

2010-07-09T08:56:00.001-07:00

I am long to spend my life doing something that is truly worthwhile, something that is truly matters, something that makes a difference for them and for others.

I know I need to:

1.) Make some changes in personal life and work life.

2.) Significance comes when I find a way of giving myself to God!

3.) It takes a lot of courage to commit myself to loving my life for God's purposes and plans rather than my own desires and will.

"My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me". But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today' .

Deuteronomy 8:17-18

Godly success often does not require you to do different things; rather, it requires you to do things differently.

Church- brought into a living relationship with God in Christ, and then the work of the congregation is birthed to support, encourage, enliven, empower and fuel the lives of the believers. God has one church- varying tasks, variety of expressions, multiple locations and some specializations that need to have space and encouragement to develop in order for God's kingdom to be established everywhere.

Metamorphosis

2010-02-21T08:02:00.000-08:00

我很旧没有用keyboard整理自己的思绪了，在网路空间里留言。这个新年，回忆了很多以前的画面，却没有多少想念的感觉。仿佛觉的自己没有人情味，还是生活担子太重了，感官都被压缩到低点？农历新年，红包美肴一点都不吸引我，我在无奈的耕耘功课。我拟定了很多计划及祷告的事项，我想我误会了自己是超人，一个人能做很多事。

在家我仿佛觉的上帝离我很远，虽然其实他是在我身边。在家我仿佛觉的时间是很便宜，我奢侈的花呀花，没有节制。不是懒惰抹杀我的动力，乃是低落，一种话语不能形容的负面磁场，把我积极活力全都粉碎，让我觉得自己颓废。

就在这个时候，上帝的灵揭示我心中苦毒的原因。检讨自己的生活圈子，发觉自己是个没有勇气相信人的人，该是害怕会被他人伤害吧，所以都爱把问题先扛在自己的肩旁，把自己搞忙，自责无法原谅自己，因此增添压力，自己伤害自己。今早回槟城的途中，上帝已动工刚强我心，仿佛叫我勇敢的去面对一些挑战，然后车子就抛锚了。因为心中有预知的感觉，问题来时，没有太大的打击，只好迎接。上帝的真实提示，让我渴慕他的怀抱，我一到教会就在赞美敬拜中痛哭，求神释放我心中“不信任，孤行的态度” 的问题。

上帝无时无刻都在我身边改变我的生命，引领我到某种领域去感受一些事情，然后做某种决定。蜕变的过程其实是痛的，我想逃避多过于面对现实，但后来我还是硬着头皮回到岗位去。我把手放在自己胸口上，祷告心志要坚强。。

上帝用两个字去让我愿意领受蜕变- 那就是梦想。你有梦吗？那你就要愿意承受这个蜕变的痛。

Judge the secrets of men

2009-10-13T06:23:00.000-07:00

Roman:2:16
In the day when God will judge the secrets of men, according to my Good News, by Jesus Christ.

I was so impressed by the word of "secrets of men" here.
The secret I interest the most now:
Why human use to be extremist, grab the meaning of absolute to his or her belief/judgement and despise others?

Salvation emphasize Sins forgiving.
God forgive our Sins, what a wonderful grace we have.
With love, will able an intention to understand the wrong doer's human sinful natural, reasons and pains. Thus, Judge the secrets of men with LOVE, and you will know how to forgive.

Corinthians chapter 13:5
LOVE.....is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

No other law can bigger than the love of forgiving.

小敏说：“耶华公公会保护我的！”

2009-10-11T08:19:00.001-07:00

上一节的故事说到喜欢活在梦中的小敏，耶华公公却催使小敏回到现实中脚踏实地的努力，不要逃避。

这一节故事也是重新强调小敏的本性，是如此不愿意接受现实，常常把自己的梦想点缀到如仙境，遥远不实际。

小敏喜欢小孩子，果真如今的日子活在充满小孩子的国度。小孩子短暂的专心能力也反射了小敏短暂的集中能力于当中该做的事情。可怜的是小敏渴慕生活的美感，拒绝生活的苦难，才会不断的不断的发梦。

难道耶华公公不知道这是人类的自我保护的本性吗？耶华公公其实是爱小敏的才会不断把小敏处在逆境中挣扎，好让她可以了解人生的无奈时，该依靠的是谁。

小敏很不愿意，不愿意长大！她不想看到身边的小朋友以年纪应有应做的事，她却吊儿郎当，到处流浪，落在榜后。就把小敏当是残缺人物吧！小敏会因为这个不平凡而微笑的过活。反正小敏就是因为不完整才会特出台中，诉说耶华公公的故事。残缺其实是祝福。

问题是小敏仿佛意识太多，也掩饰太多。世上只有信心十足的人才能活出完全真正的自己。信心有两个方向：自信和相信。小敏两者都不足，掩饰唯有选择。但可爱的是，耶华公公有个能力让小敏真心对人，不求回报。连小敏也不明白为何耶华公公要让小敏这样笨蛋，看来很糊涂的样子。爸爸妈妈说小敏如果太善良会蹉跎人生，遭人摆弄没出色，小敏呀小敏，你怎么看呢？

小敏说：“耶华公公会保护我的！”

好难懂的小敏！

2009-10-11T07:23:00.000-07:00

一年的期待实在充实，放弃去争取反而是空虚，因为没有确实的终点。

人偶尔会太多的期望，偶尔会彷徨，我随着岁月的流逝，学习体验多事时，思想不再是容易放空时，却是神要挑战我自我放空的时候，以便我能完全对神信心，而非用人类的智慧去努力的追求。

难道神一切的承诺都过去吗？我该如何调整我的心情在次聆听到神的指示？难道我持有错误的意念，圣灵在过程调整我，把我放在逆境中挣扎？

我咬紧牙根忍耐一切的痛，我生活即使困在逆境，该拥有的都离去，一切发生都与神的承诺反面，但我告诉自己，是时候期待神的大能，时间是神的掌控，不由我的定论。

真的，我想有个生命的突破。我想到新的地方呼吸，激发我新的思想。但是重担实在太多了：我的学业，我的债务，我的爸妈，我主里的弟妹，我都不可能会舍得放下。

外面的世界是如何的呢? 爱着马来西亚却是远走高飞？神呀！我觉得我越来越与世界脱节，我真的很期待扩展我的视野，我的创新能力。

我要像空中的鸟，飞翔自由自在。我要用着我的双手，写出爱的故事。曾经听到日本，却后来听到英国，到底是什么样的一会事？真的是完全是自我的意思？

甚至我要忘了我是女生，那飘着长发难以洗后干透，那穿着裙子要温柔体面。甚至我要放弃去成为一个公主王后，独自儿去编写台词演艺我的故事。

说实，我是自怜的。如果可以，我不愿意我有不平凡，不实际的梦想。很可惜，如果你考察我的基因，我是世界认为的苦命儿。却一点都不可惜是，我不是属世界的。但，我会拥有世界羡慕的幸福吗？我相信，我会踏实的实现，却是神的大能中超越。

人呀人, 真的很丑恶, 很软弱无能

2009-06-12T20:13:00.000-07:00

主呀,
我为何最近没有元气? 做事,没有积极用心,没有激情活力?
我的问题在那里?
性格依然不能顺服, 自以为是?
思想活跃却无法身体力行,思绪超越理智?
心理的空洞产生了错误的人生欲望及导向?
自私的把气愤划为错误放在人的身上好让自己好过?

主呀,
如果可以选择, 我想做人简单多好!
简单的顺服,简单的思考,
维持浩然正气,身体力行的做好自己.
因为忧郁犹豫, 太多的思考, 只会让自己精疲力尽.
就承认自己的软弱, 谦备的求助于上帝与朋友吧!
用着自己的努力去维护, 只会导致心理封闭,厌恨和骄傲,
这又何为呢?
疲倦, 厌恨, 封闭, 自以为是一点都不好过…
意识什么是错与对的时候, 却无能为力克服,
就如在水里面挣扎空气那样般痛苦.
上帝, 您是怜悯的上帝!
人呀人, 真的很丑恶, 很软弱无能.
求你的恩典释放我们人类. 阿们.

葡萄成熟時

2009-04-19T07:45:00.000-07:00

I found this Hong Kong Chinese Song in my folder. 葡萄成熟時, Eason 陳奕迅.The lyric appears meaningful to me when I relook into it. It is interesting while I relate it to my lover.

問到何時葡萄先熟透, 你要靜候再靜候, 就算失收始終要守
This as when I question when is the timing the grapes are mellow and can be harvest to brew wine. I have to learn to wait patiently with faith, even there is risk of lost harvesting to me but still I have to keep watching for with all my might.
These verses mean to me while I am on the way to be made matured in Christ. I have a fear in me that If one day I fall because my pride or sloth, or one day my strength is exhausted with not remain in the vine of Jesus, like a branch of Him who dries up, with no more bear fruits, (JOHN chapter 15:5-8). I am not sure how long I can remain to make the grapes mellow to brew wine. As the bible tells us so, not all the branches can bear fruits, there are some will dried up and will be gathered up and thrown into the fire at the end of the day.

日後盡量別教今天的淚白流, 留低擊傷你的石頭從錯誤里吸收, 也許豐收月份尚未到你也得接受
Ya, the verse is right. What I can do is the efforts that I can put myself to remain in Him by remain His words in me. I have to do my best to make my tears & sweats to flow significantly as on the way in planting the grapes and waiting for mellow; take the lesson of failures in mind as the impact of pain that I feel when the stone hit my head; and this way will make harvest of my grapes even at time that is not harvesting season.

或者要到你將愛釀成醇酒, 時機先至熟透
Or I have to use love to brew the wine, and so the maturity of my grapes will comes. The heart of love is the ingredient of maturity. Brewing wine with love will make maturity of my mind, in harvesting my faith and patience.

想想天的一邊亦有個某某在等候, 一心只等葡萄熟透嘗杯酒
Ya, God is waiting us at a corner in this universal, is waiting to taste the grape wine of us.

別讓寂寞害你傷得一夜白頭, 仍得不需要的自由和最耀眼傷口, 我知日後路上或沒有更美的邂逅
Don’t make loneliness hurts us. There is some worldly freedom and dazzle wound that actually we find needless. We are looking for neurotic freedom from fears and emptiness while we are expecting there would be no good life of encounter in future. There would be dead scar in us while we have no hope, pessimistic of our future life. Only God’s grace can overcome the powerful surge of emptiness and solitude in us. We will find hope & rest in Him.

但當你智慧都蘊釀成紅酒, 仍可一醉自救, 誰都心酸過那個沒有
Ya, when the time your wisdom is used to brew the wine, you can save yourself while make all your previous pains and disappointments unconscious with this alcohol. This alcohol is not temporary effects, but is medicine that forever eases your pains.

回想当年在黑暗的我, 其实怕光

2009-04-12T09:33:00.000-07:00

都怪自己不够润滑, 没有温柔的爱,一气之下僵硬的爱, 出现反弹的局面了. 我没有做到上帝孩子的本分, 促进和平,天父阿爸,请原谅我.

上帝叫我爱身边的人. 当我越爱越深, 爱她们的灵魂时, 迫切的攻击了她们的文化背景和信仰, 被吐苦水话说我是霸道和藐视他人,不尊重他人. 都怪我没有温柔的分享, 才会导致如此.
或许是自己不够说服力, 没有活出见证说服他们. 我没有忍耐力, 冷静的去体谅他人的不完全,用着话语去挑战而导致人性攻击.

主呀, 你明白我心里的深处, 也看透我的软弱, 请您怜悯我的不足,没有办法维持和平的过错. 你叫我爱人要爱到长远, 所以我爱他们的灵魂, 因为我知道主耶稣是唯一的真理, 道路和生命. 你的道路是狭窄的, 是要实行您旨意才能找上的道路.经历了你的真实才肯定了我. 当我看懂你的真理, 我也看明白我以前的过错, 那以前自我观点为重点的自己.

我生气以前的我, 所以我也会生气不肯顺服去寻找上帝的人, 行动去更加认识及实行您旨意的人. 我明白到, 耶稣的真理, 是不能用着知识去明白而已, 而是在教会里行动的实现, 所以我很想促进他们的行动力. 因为我的出发点有生气, 所以反弹力也是强烈的. 上帝用温柔的气量原谅我, 我为何也不用温柔气量的体谅他人? 我该温柔的爱我的朋友们.

我回想我的过去, 我曾经如何不喜欢风光的基督徒. 上帝在他们身上的荣耀其实与不完全的我划了一条距离, 让不完全的我更加害怕的去接近散发上帝荣耀的他们. 不完全的我因为没有完美的信心, 在自卑之际, 我选择与上帝的荣耀分隔两个世界,以保护自己的自尊. 我选择把错误都放在他人的身上, 是他们没有体谅我, 是他们没有爱我, 他们在看不起我. 在那个时候的我,我根本无法明白爱灵魂的道理, 因为我还没有完全的领受上帝爱的奥秘. 高层级的教会就成了冰冷的地方, 让人觉得是一个层次分明, 瞧不起贫乏人的地方. 回想当年在黑暗的我, 其实怕光, 为保自己的尊严, 因为没有完美的信心.

今天我并没有风光, 但我却有盼望. 因为我的信心在上帝里面得安慰, 不用在责怪他人而保护自己的尊严. 其实这一切都在我懂得谦备的时候开始, 在我懂得不要面子的开始.

上帝, 我越来越矛盾, 无奈, 不知如何才爱的真确. 您的荣耀原来是令不完全的我们逃避. 所以当人不注重尊严的人, 会很有福气, 因为他知道他是软弱的. 当不介意人家如何评估自己, 自己也纯朴的评估他人.

原来谦备是敢敢放下尊严的道理. 基督徒该做生命的盐, 而不是追求世界的尊严.

小敏和耶华公公的故事

2009-02-24T05:57:00.000-08:00

小敏是一个不讨人喜爱的孩子. 她喜欢发白日梦, 所以无法把事情做好. 她上课不专心, 写字不端正, 作文不对题, 常被老师责备. 小敏没有很多的朋友, 因为她爱活在自己的梦境, 不喜欢与小朋友一起玩耍.

小敏知道, 自己不中用, 爸爸妈妈是最难过的. 她尝试要把字写好,可是专心对小敏是一件很吃苦的事情, 把力量都集中在一笔一画中, 她要比其他小朋友都还要加倍努力. . 她尝试切题回答作文, 可是她无法规律性的思考作文的范围. 文章没有让人明白的定律, 小敏的作文很底分.

小敏很难过, 她觉得自己很没用, 她定论自己是笨小孩. 生活上的一切让小敏难过, 小敏因此更陶醉自己的梦境.

小敏的梦里面的世界很美丽. 公园有着灿烂的花朵, 新鲜的空气. 小敏喜笑颜开,哼着轻快的歌儿, 很快乐的在公园里漫步. 突然, 她看见一位公公在树下看书. 小敏在梦里面没有朋友, 很寂寞, 看到公公很开心, 所以跑前去跟公公打招呼.

公公看到小敏, 微笑, 慈祥的问小敏为什么一个人在梦里, 不回去学校上课. 小敏说功课做不好, 学校没有喜欢自己的人. 世界的定律让小敏痛苦, 她跟不上定律的标准, 心里因此挣扎着要脱轨这个定律, 他要去一个让自己微笑, 不要哭泣的世界.

公公摸一摸小敏的头,说要给小敏一个能击败世界定律的礼物.

这位公公名叫耶华. 他很疼爱小敏, 他不责怪小敏的字写不好, 作文不切题. 耶华公公安慰小敏说, 小敏不专心是因为多心, 作文不对题是因为小敏的思想范围跟随着小敏的多心, 范围过阔而超越了作文范围应有的定律. 耶华公公告诉小敏, 世界的定律其实是不完美的, 但小敏却要学习这定律的步骤, 才能明白什么是完美的定律. 小敏得到公公的鼓励很安慰,意志决定要追求那完美的定律. 因此耶华公公教导小敏如何捉摸世界的定律, 掌握及活在其范围里. 小敏终于掌握了组织及分析能力, 因此小敏的功课进步了, 也念到大学及毕业了.

多少时候, 小敏因为世界的定律, 让小敏烦躁, 灰心及想放弃对耶华公公的承诺. 小敏曾经对耶华公公承诺, 要学习耶华公公的定律, 因为耶华公公对小敏的爱, 小敏非常肯定耶华公公的定律是最完美的. 但要学习这完美的定律, 一点都不容易.,却要先懂世界的定律.小敏曾经无数想要脱离这个现实的世界, 想在梦里的公园和耶华公公一同住,永远不要出来. 耶华公公却叫小敏勇敢的回去现实的世界, 他三番五次的肯定小敏说, 他会给小敏一个能击败世界定律的礼物.

小敏的故事会是如何? 小敏能击败世界定律吗? 小敏能不让耶华公公失望, 掌握耶华公公的定律吗?

Praying for discernment, to look for a balance

2008-12-26T09:56:00.000-08:00

These days I was in mentally trouble while was rejected by people about sharing gospel and witnessed there are varies of value and belief in Christianity. Well, I know I am not yet find the complete answer. To master the truth is cost of life-timing instead of one day. Well, I have initiated myself of some writing here and share out to help articulate my thought.

A sharing: Pride; Sloth And Loneliness
Sources: MinistryHealth: Support and Resources For Pastors and Christian Ministry Professionals "Pride, Sloth and Loneliness" Thomas F. Fischer Number 293, Available at: http://jmm.aaa.net.au/articles/8492.htm

2 sins that can set us apart from God, make people reject Gospel & decision to take up the cross (the cost of physically & mentally discomfort) and following Jesus Christ.
PRIDE:
1.) Failure of trust God. A driver to a hideous refusal to accept the natural limits of our creaturely condition, seeking freedom from God's control by wresting that control for one's self. A general inability to let God be in control.
2.) St. Augustine characterized Satan's sin as pride: "He refused to be subject to his creator, and in his arrogance supposed that he wielded power as his own private possession and rejoiced in that power." (Meilaender, p. 60). Satan's greatest mistake, Augustine concluded, was that "he has refused to accept reality." (Meilaender, p. 60). They distort the reality/truth, and undermine others with angers and jealousy, in order to boost the esteem of themselves.
SLOTH:
1.) Alienation from God, seeks this same freedom by isolating oneself from the influence of God.
2.) The sloth may appear disinterested, apathetic, unkempt, and unmotivated. Their sluggish disinclination to action and their seeming outright laziness seems to be anything, but this is slipped in the component of pride as well, a control behavior simply chooses to avoid altogether, include the truth and calling of God. They find is reasonable to be in their comfort zone.

Interestingly, the article touches about the denial of reality is a motivating component of pride to transcend reality. According to Thomas F. , whether the vision is from God or of human origin, the nature of vision-driven leadership is to direct energies toward the creation of that which is "unreality" in the present. This has implicated the meaning of faith. But dangerously, the more the vision needs to be kept in control, the greater the potential for pride to slip in and place us into the same mistake Satan made. He refused to accept the reality of who is really in control.

I am trembling to touch about the picture of faith here, where faith is the right relationship with God (Roman Chapter 4:13), the component that counted righteous in eye of God (Roman Chapter 4:3). As I know I am not good in master the whole word of God now, as true faith is by the real foundation in the whole (the complete picture) of word of God. But I am so sure that faith is revealed by the behavior of servant heart, with humbly& simply trusts God by knowing the will, power and glory of Him. We can know God through words of God in bible, but holding a servant heart is not easy till we can put down our pride and sloth.

As per Luke chapter 7: The faith of Roman Officer in asking Jesus to heal his servant. Luke 7:9: Jesus said “ I tell you, I haven’t seen faith like this in all Isreal” . Jesus was amazed by the humble and the simple trust of this Roman Officer. Roman officer said: “Lord, don’t trouble yourself by coming to my home, for I am not even worthy to come and meet you. Just say the word from where you are, and my servant will be healed”.

The optimistic resilience of a gentile woman in Mark 7:27 in answering Jesus’ challenge while Jesus Christ was describing gentiles as parable of dog. This gentile woman responded Jesus Christ in humble (accept the parable of dog) and knowing the power of God in control. Jesus: “First, I should feed the children, it isn’t right to take food from the children and throw it to the dogs. She answered: “That’s true, Lord, but even the dogs under the table are allowed to eat the scraps from the children’s plates.” Jesus said: “Good answer”. And just this, the demon was left the daughter of this gentile woman by her faithfulness.

This reminds me the faithfulness of charismatic movement:
Bodies of charismatic followers of Christ have access to the Holy Spirit; come together with others to worship, study, and serve. They truly love Jesus, the Scriptures and are sincere. They believe in the authority of the Word of God, the deity of Jesus Christ, His sacrificial death, His physical resurrection, salvation by faith and not works, the need to live a life of obedience, and to proclaim their faith.

But , that is a "dangerous deception" and very much need of discerning power about the movement and seek out the true move of God, in order not get caught up in the emotional flood of signs and wonders, and be fooled while deeply captivated by visions, dreams and miracles performing. As per Romans 10:2,"For I can testify about them that they are zealous for God, but their zeal is not based on knowledge."

I don’t have abundance experience of exercising spiritual movement, I unable to speak in tongue and many times hardly to pray fervently. This is because I allow my analysis conscious as controlling behaviors to stop Holy Spirit flowing in control of my thought and tongue. Analysis and research can make knowledge, reasons, theories and law, and I was led by interest and pride to do so. Thus, I have to always need to remind myself, Christians are saved by faith, not by law. With humble and children heart (simple trust), I only able to get closer to God through spirit. And through Spirit, I only able to understand the secret of God words, and set free by the grace of Lord.

Corinthians chapter 2:3 had saved my life, by knowing the spiritual movement is the core of Christianity. While Paul said this: “I came to you in weakness-timid and trembling. And my message and my preaching were very plain. Rather than using clever and persuasive speeches, I relied only on the power of the Holy Spirit”.

Well, as today I was writing this passage, I hope to understand the weight balance of spiritual movement and intellectual discernment. As I know they are churches are not encourage charismatic movement as they are avoiding of the deception of evil spirits. Well, if intellectual reasons take full control of Christianity practice, will cease the zealous and passion in Christ and lead to the boosting of human pride by intellectual achievement. But if practice of Christianity takes only passion of spiritual leading, potentially their tongue is praising the Lord and reading the bible verses still, but just taken partially of the bible meaning which are found impressive to lift up their strength and vision of their life instead of vision of God.

The world is dangerous, even the journey to pursue the real God is exposed to risk as well. No doubt, spiritually movement is must for Christian, while praying & worshipping, in whole hearted of submission and trust, first intention to love God. Well, exercising intellectual understanding and analysis is needed to test the spirit of leading us all the times too. Thus we are always needed to pray for God for wisdom and discernment.

There are fruits of Holy Spirits obvious to be found as I read. Such as Love (understandingly and forgiving), Joy (smile and delight behavior), Peace (no anger, jealousy and bad tempered), patient (words of encouragements and gentleness), Kindness (compassionate and caring), faithfulness (truth worthy and strong determination), hope (positive thinking and no blaming), Self-control (resists temptations) and so on. The complete picture of the image of Christ is the standard of us to check ourselves whether is holding a right spirit in transforming us.

As I learned, the very first understanding about Christianity should go about God‘s love, mercy and grace through Holy Spirit in Jesus name, forgiving human sins and transform people life to the image of Christ. We have to know we are sinners; only can go into character building by repentance, which is the intrinsic value of blessing and the most influencing power in lifting up the truth of God. Extrinsic value of blessing such as materially is playing as testimonial of God power and glory, as the reward and promise to the obedience and faithfulness of children of God. But, there are not all the materially blessings are come from God, keep watch and discern. Material provision by evils spirit can fool the world and attract human greedy nature and keep accelerate their sins.

I like the logic of salvation and learning to articulate briefly here. Sinful nature is magnetic attracting to sinful spirit and set us apart from God. God is faithfulness and mercy, He bring us salvation through Jesus Christ. Is not by the efforts to make holy ourselves by doing good deeds in order to magnetic attracting the Holy Spirit to bless us, but is through the name of Jesus Christ come the Holy Spirit , take times to make us to be the image of Christ, the holy being.

Ephesians chapter 2:9-10: Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the goods things he planned for us long ago.

Here the discoveries and enlightens of these half year of my growing. Most of the Christian knew these for long already, but I just found out this year though I was Christian for four years. Well, God timing in taking control, as the time I learn to humble and put down my analysis interest, I know more than before. Praise the Lord.

寻找真理

2008-12-04T07:14:00.000-08:00

我连自己也不相信我会信主的一天.

我曾经是科学崇拜者, 超人类主义, 信靠人类是全能于创造文明,科技进步能让人们摆脱及解释一切的不可能. 而今天我终于懂得谦备的说: “人类算得是什么?”
人类会为了自己的荣耀, 提升自我价值而变得自私自利, 愤怒,妒嫉而憎恨一切冲突他价值的人和事, 甚至于可以放弃人类的真情, 出卖良心, 为求胜利而不择手段.

自小我就希望能明白人生的真理. 以为看哲学, 研究佛理就能明白真理. 果真在读他人的智慧会懂得理论,技巧去分析复杂性的心理, 但是我依然没有平静及喜悦, 因为摆脱不了执着求知的心理. ,我越想靠自己的理智,却越无法摆脱情绪的波动及肉体的软弱, 因此更加迷失及失落.

四年纪, 外婆天主教仪式的葬礼, 我才发现葬礼可以这么简单, 白衣衫, 鲜花边, 简单明白的祷告话语, 说不出的平静. 后期, 我生活遇到困难, 我也开始学习祷告. 因为天主教的亲人影响, 我都是向着基督祷告. 其实我那时并不知道上帝有什么旨意, 什么用意, 只知道他是慈祥的.

困难时叫喊了基督的名字, 得了帮助及解脱后又忘记了他, 我依然相信佛理是最好的, 因为他逻辑, 教人做好. 日子一天一天的过, 直到在祖母病痛上看到生命的脆弱及无助时, 我才恍然大悟, 我没有真正的明白真理. 因为人生不只于因果关系, 坦然接受命运的程式, 种善果而安排你这生或下生的福气.

我也不懂为什么, 我就是知道基督就是真理, 一直努力去寻找他. 因此接触基督徒, 相信的过程也很突然. 后来即使没有朋友, 没有兄妹体贴入微的带领, 我还是知道基督是真理. 曾经时候, 我也想过放弃寻觅他,回去黑暗, 却上帝太好了, 在适当的时候圣灵在我生命动工鼓励我, 握紧我的手再成长. 直到今天, 我进步了. 被圣灵受洗及受教后, 我体验到真理的果子. 当谦备及用相信的心把一切都交托给上帝去主宰的时候, 平静,喜悦, 智慧及力量都回降于我们. 我的生命里因此有盼望, 和平仁爱. 当凡事都忍耐的祷告, 变的更有力量及智慧, 行为节制温柔.

所以撒旦(魔鬼)总会千方百计让我们远离上帝, 叫我们放弃, 叫我们不要相信, 叫我们不要属灵, 不要祷告. 看到我们肉体(自我意识)的欲望导向我们人生, 对亲情疏忽, 思想情绪乱七八糟, 发脾气, 埋怨诅咒的话语在口中时, 他哈哈大笑. 撒旦就是不要我们温柔, 他要我们粗暴的发挥出我们的欲望及自尊心.

别以为基督徒就是个个和平仁爱, 各各亲切温柔. 撒旦最爱攻击属灵的基督徒们. 当基督徒没有紧靠圣灵的时候,大败仗了 , 基督徒也依然故我(自我意识,罪恶行径).

或许你会问, 到底圣灵怎样改变, 教育及帮助基督徒?真的很奇妙的, 你只要相信, 你就会明白.
基督的真理是很真实,很理智逻辑. 你勇敢的去寻觅, 你就会知道.

爱(LOVE)--是因感情而喜爱, 而非因感觉而喜爱

2008-11-26T04:59:00.000-08:00

Finally, I able to understand deeper the meaning of love by meditated Corinthians 13, with the power of Holy spirit guided my thought. Thanks for a forward email by Uncle Tony too to remind me the word of compassion and connection. Thanks Lord.

I asked God to give me an understanding of Love. As this is related to my blog’s title-> 情 (情consists meaning of: affection/feeling/love/passion), so I find a need to understand it clearly. Worry I would forgot what had been enlighten me, so I decide to write it down in blog to make clear of my title and share with others.

Love is a feeling of favor/adore (喜爱) through relationship or affection with spiritually connection with compassion, tolerance and understandingly (同情, 忍让和宽容). Love requires humility and kindness. Love happen within a long-term relationship with commitment.

As bible tells us, Love is eternal (Corinthians 13:8). And love is greatest among faith and hope (Corinthians 13:13).

In life, we are playing various role of commitment need to exercise love, such as role as daughter/son, mother/father, friends, sister/brother, and husband/wife, Child of God & within the family in Christ. And the theory of exercise love is just the same to every relationship.

As refer to Corinthians 13:4: Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up, and its faith, hope, patience never fail.

Corinthians 13:11-12
When I was a child, my speech, feelings, and thinking were all those of a child; now that I am an adult, I have no more use for childish ways. What we see now is like a dim image in a mirror, and then we shall see face-to-face. What I know now is only partial; then it will be complete-as complete as God’s knowledge of me.

I remember when I was little girl & teenager, I use to adore charming guys, fascinated by their brilliant appearance and cool outlook. My 17th years old, was having a trip with a gang of good friends in Genting , bumped into a group of Korean brilliant guys, we were crazily followed them behind in half of the journey. We enjoyed gossip about handsome boys in school. We admired handsome actors/singers, and kept their pictures of poster and magazine. We were so young, as bible tells, When I was a child, my speech, feelings, and thinking were all those of a child. We were looking for INSTANT LOVE of feeling, the instance adoration by appearance attractiveness. We confuse of what is true love sometime. Parents’ rebuke was giving feeling of unhappy, thus misunderstood that this is not call love. A sweet talk with guys and friends will take as love irrationally.

Well, this is common to this materialistic world in spite of age group too. As per seen, the environment of promoting physical adoration in pub & disco, the increasing rate of one-night stand and divorce is a sign of people is not value long-term relationship, the refuse to carry out of commitment to walk into the complete picture of love.

This is natural that we carry our love with desire of physically adoration, due to we are physical conscious of being. Physical desire is selfish, self-centre with a heart of possession. Thanks God that the amazing grace through Jesus Christ in us, make a way for us to able to be promoted to be spiritual being, to engage the spiritual adoration, and this will bring everlasting love, which is the truth that God want us to uphold, a heart to give blessing to others.

Lastly, God ask us not to selfish our love only to brilliant lady or gentleman who has caught your heart, as He said: LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR as yourself (Matthew 8:39). Impossible your neighbor is always your lover .. how’s your brothers sisters, friends, parents, grandpa grandma, aunt uncle? The world is big, not to narrow our world to few people only that you find worth. There are still many people around need our attention & love. :)

生命的話語 - Speak To Me,my Lord Jesus

2008-11-24T05:18:00.000-08:00

主每一日對我說話

Speak to me, my Lord Jesus　

生命的話語

I need Your words of life

顯明　心親愛聖靈

Reveal to me, Holy Spirit

教我生命之道

Teach me Your ways of life

開我眼使我看見

Touch my eyes so I can see

提昇我的靈使我歡唱

Lift my soul so I can sing again　

的話使我能再次擁有新的生命

Say the words so I can live again just by Your words

我需要　我需要　　生命的話語

Speak to me, speak to me, I need Your words of life

A dream of me

2008-11-20T07:29:00.000-08:00

Recalling a dream of me in four years ago about my grandma came and told me that she knew that I accepted Christ. She was sitting on the sofa in living room, gracefully said: “knowing that you believed in Jesus.”

I responded, “yes mama, this is because of a book, a neology theory telling how to heal depression. I was deep depressed and lost once...”, I was trying to explain to her with logical scientific reasons, as worried that she was not happy with my decision. My grandma is a buddhist. I used to follow her teaching and learned with her the theory of Buddhism since I was kid. I expected she was happy with my enthusiasm in learning philosophy of Buddhism, thus fears in me when she knew that I follow Christ. I worried my decision will disappoint her will.

This dream happened not long ago after my grandma passed away. At the same day my dad dreamed of grandma too, he saw grandma was standing at the bedroom door site and looking at him. So, we concluded that grandma’soul backed to visit us that night at that time. X_X

While writing this blog, I am trying to recall the face and response of my grandma that appeared in the dream. I recall nothing, the dream seems had been stop there. She was not looked angry and she was not asking me why I follow Jesus Christ actually as I remembered. After few years as now today, I understand that the dream actually is reflecting my fear on my grandma if she was not happy on me to be Christian at that time. Because of my low faith, because of my family’s rejection to me to evangelize my grandma when she was sick, I became fearful and fearful, doubtful and doubtful at that moment.

Praise the Lord that I able to overcome the fear and doubt today. I am not fear anymore if grandma appear in dream to ask me the same question again. I am so proudly of my decision! I believe she knew that. I pray that my mum will realize her wrong theory one day soon. Her theory: “People character is determined since three years old, and will till eighty years old will not change.”(三岁定八十). I believe, my family will understand the power of God soon, the power of Him to transform our character, our life our fate . God, please make this day happen soon. Amen.

Love installation

2008-11-09T06:22:00.000-08:00

Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready.What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now.Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudgeand Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from yourcurrent operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but itwill no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called Grace of God. However,you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Isthat normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error- Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. It simply means you have to Love God first before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Centre; then click on the followingfiles: Acknowledge your Sins & Limitations and be humble;Realize your worth because of Christ.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The systemwill overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming.Also, you need to delete Verbose Criticism from all directories andempty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and nevercomes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files.Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running.One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you.

Tech Support: You're Welcome, Anytime.

* This is copied from a Joke forum from internet, but had been modified to be applicable to you and me. Enjoy reading. :=)

把情紧扣上帝的意

2008-11-09T06:12:00.000-08:00

感谢一位远方的朋友. 他对亲人的爱仿佛也感染了我, 反映了我. 我们为我们的弟弟们祷告, 希望他们与上帝浓情达意, 紧握真理,信心更上一层楼.
在鼓励弟弟们的过程中,我其实有很多疑惑.我对自己没有信心, 也疏忽的忘了把信心建筑在上帝的荣耀上, 因此很多时候信心摇晃, 力量不足, 退缩及前进的决定中矛盾, 怀疑又怀疑. 人是脆弱的, 很多时候会做错决定, 说错话.
生活里, 不是每时每刻都在圣灵的带领, 有时是错误欲望的操纵, 有时是逻辑占先信念, 混乱, 没有平静及喜悦.

所以, 我告诉自己要努力学习明白上帝的意, 学习领受平静, 聆听圣灵的声音 ,考验着毅力去寻找, 考验意愿去相信, 让圣经的话语引导我的思路.
无论是错是对, 是自我或是圣灵充满时候, 不用担心, 都是上帝在掌握我生命的一切. 路程的困难,只要不放弃, 信心及人格就会成长.

现在担心弟弟妹妹们信心成长的过程, 他们会丧气, 回放弃吗?
因为在我挣扎紧握主的过程, 我领悟了人类的弱点:
有时感应到上帝的爱, 却因为人类愚昧的逻辑与上帝的意冲突, 选择不信.
有时却缺乏毅力, 或不认为需要, 没有去努力寻找上帝,明白上帝;
有时是肉体意识高, 自我, 难于谦备, 拒绝了圣灵, 种种原因与上帝隔绝, 很可惜.

想呀想....其实是我信心不够, 才会有这中奇怪的担忧.
有上帝的爱, 怕什么? 在此,我学习分析及记录我感受及明白上帝过程的点滴. 希望能真情达意的祝福朋友们, 把情紧扣上帝的意.

Shekinah CG

2008-10-29T04:50:00.000-07:00

Praise the Lord that I able to connect to Shekinah CG through Google Blogging as i unable physically attend the CG now. Shekinah CG is very meaningful CG to me as this is the CG God led me to be in to help my faith revived after a year of my faith volatiled. My born nature in melancholy and doubtful personality, and thus in journey to pursue God had caused me some drawing back from God. Thanks for Shekinah and prayers from Dell transformer group (Dell prayer meeting from EPCC ) to help in drawing me back to the Kingdom of God.

As currently I am joining Chinese CG as sense God is asking me to learn something new in chinese service. This thought came to me at one night that I was terribly lost my words in praying, and holy spirit spoke to me to ask me attempted a prayer walk in Chinese. That was happened in September thus i started my chinese blog and attending chinese service in EPCC in September.

My chinese language actually is the worst subject of result getting in my SPM. By the way, it still exists as a strong bond to my background recalling and the most susceptible language to my feeling. It could be because it is my mother tougue. As analyzed my feeling, I had a better understand the greatest bond between human and God which is the affection, which is so called in bible: God is love, love God first, and this is the relationship that always emphasized by Christiniaty. And thus I am learning my life to understand the spirituality with God and human, which I believe the inherent meaning within is a flawless artistry and it is the greatest wisdom in life.

I am so glad that able to meet the sisters and brothers in Shekinah. Although sometime they are quiet and i unable to connect with them in words, but thanks God that i able to connect with them by heart in the name of Jesus, as we are sister brother in the kingdom of God, they are lovely and wonderful to me.

因为爱, 我获得恩典

2008-09-15T07:33:00.000-07:00

我人生的转折点,就在我祖母病患癌症的那时. 她身躯被病魔折腾于痛苦时, 也驱使了我的灵魂挣扎去寻觅解脱.

因此 ,我明白了人间的情, 人间的爱, 能得划出一份细致、准确合拍的道路去与万物之灵的上帝丝丝入扣的联系; 也就是这一份力量, 我得智慧去明白上帝的恩典与真理.

祖母病世三天前, 我接受了主,喜悦平静的回家. 到医院见她没意识的病卧在床,感应到她手脚颤抖时,我哭得非常凄惨.虽然难过, 因为圣灵在伴,我心中依然平静.

祖母的声音及表情, 编写了我二十年岁月的回忆.她陪伴我长大, 塑造我人生价值观, 她的冲动的爱, 高温的温暖着我的心窝, 二十年编织了我与她丝丝入扣的感情.

因为家人都是非常坚持他们的信仰及传统, 我并没有机会在那三天里成功的肯定我祖母肉体后的世界.或许这是上帝的意思, 祖母因为去世前成了植物人, 我不能获的她的心声的反应, 因此我得用我的一生去祷告, 一生去进修我的信念, 那对上帝超越生死力量的信念. 耶稣用他的血赎了我们的罪, 让我们有福得圣灵的果子,在我生命已是个奇迹.

我深信, 如果我不放弃心里的这一份爱, 上帝会赎我的祖母的灵魂回天国,在我生命后创造另一个奇迹.

三天前是我祖母的农历死纪,三天在三天前,我因为在怪自己没有美丽的词语祷告而害怕不能感动上帝时, 我突然感应到圣灵对我说: 祷告的语言是情感,那心中的爱意, 而不是挂在口头上的话语. 孩子, 上帝被爱感应, 因为爱你.

希望以上,祝福有情有血的你们.