葡萄成熟時

I found this Hong Kong Chinese Song in my folder. 葡萄成熟時, Eason 陳奕迅.The lyric appears meaningful to me when I relook into it. It is interesting while I relate it to my lover.

問到何時葡萄先熟透, 你要靜候 再靜候, 就算失收 始終要守
This as when I question when is the timing the grapes are mellow and can be harvest to brew wine. I have to learn to wait patiently with faith, even there is risk of lost harvesting to me but still I have to keep watching for with all my might.
These verses mean to me while I am on the way to be made matured in Christ. I have a fear in me that If one day I fall because my pride or sloth, or one day my strength is exhausted with not remain in the vine of Jesus, like a branch of Him who dries up, with no more bear fruits, (JOHN chapter 15:5-8). I am not sure how long I can remain to make the grapes mellow to brew wine. As the bible tells us so, not all the branches can bear fruits, there are some will dried up and will be gathered up and thrown into the fire at the end of the day.

日後 盡量別教今天的淚白流, 留低擊傷你的石頭 從錯誤里吸收, 也許 豐收月份尚未到你也得接受
Ya, the verse is right. What I can do is the efforts that I can put myself to remain in Him by remain His words in me. I have to do my best to make my tears & sweats to flow significantly as on the way in planting the grapes and waiting for mellow; take the lesson of failures in mind as the impact of pain that I feel when the stone hit my head; and this way will make harvest of my grapes even at time that is not harvesting season.

或者要到你將愛釀成醇酒, 時機先至熟透
Or I have to use love to brew the wine, and so the maturity of my grapes will comes. The heart of love is the ingredient of maturity. Brewing wine with love will make maturity of my mind, in harvesting my faith and patience.

想想天的一邊 亦有個某某在等候, 一心只等葡萄熟透 嘗杯酒
Ya, God is waiting us at a corner in this universal, is waiting to taste the grape wine of us.

別讓寂寞害你傷得一夜白頭, 仍得不需要的自由 和最耀眼傷口, 我知日後路上或沒有更美的邂逅
Don’t make loneliness hurts us. There is some worldly freedom and dazzle wound that actually we find needless. We are looking for neurotic freedom from fears and emptiness while we are expecting there would be no good life of encounter in future. There would be dead scar in us while we have no hope, pessimistic of our future life. Only God’s grace can overcome the powerful surge of emptiness and solitude in us. We will find hope & rest in Him.

但當你智慧都蘊釀成紅酒, 仍可一醉自救, 誰都心酸過 那個沒有
Ya, when the time your wisdom is used to brew the wine, you can save yourself while make all your previous pains and disappointments unconscious with this alcohol. This alcohol is not temporary effects, but is medicine that forever eases your pains.

回想当年在黑暗的我, 其实怕光

都怪自己不够润滑, 没有温柔的爱,一气之下僵硬的爱, 出现反弹的局面了. 我没有做到上帝孩子的本分, 促进和平,天父阿爸,请原谅我.

上帝叫我爱身边的人. 当我越爱越深, 爱她们的灵魂时, 迫切的攻击了她们的文化背景和信仰, 被吐苦水话说我是霸道和藐视他人,不尊重他人. 都怪 我没有温柔的分享, 才会导致如此.
或许是自己不够说服力, 没有活出见证说服他们. 我没有忍耐力, 冷静的去体谅他人的不完全,用着话语去挑战而导致人性攻击.

主呀, 你明白我心里的深处, 也看透我的软弱, 请您怜悯我的不足,没有办法维持和平的过错. 你叫我爱人要爱到长远, 所以我爱他们的灵魂, 因为我知道主耶稣是唯一的真理, 道路和生命. 你的道路是狭窄的, 是要实行您旨意才能找上的道路.经历了 你的真实才肯定了我. 当我看懂你的真理, 我也看明白我以前的过错, 那以前自我观点为重点的自己.

我生气以前的我, 所以我也会生气不肯顺服去寻找上帝的人, 行动去更加认识及实行您旨意的人. 我明白到, 耶稣的真理, 是不能用着知识去明白而已, 而是在教会里行动的实现, 所以我很想促进他们的行动力. 因为我的出发点有生气, 所以反弹力也是强烈的. 上帝用温柔的气量原谅我, 我为何也不用温柔气量的体谅他人? 我该温柔的爱我的朋友们.

我回想我的过去, 我曾经如何不喜欢风光的基督徒. 上帝在他们身上的荣耀其实与 不完全的我划了一条距离, 让不完全的我更加害怕的去接近散发上帝荣耀的他们. 不完全的我因为没有完美的信心, 在自卑之际, 我选择与上帝的荣耀分隔两个世界,以保护自己的自尊. 我选择把错误都放在他人的身上, 是他们没有体谅我, 是他们没有爱我, 他们在看不起我. 在那个时候的我,我 根本无法明白爱灵魂的道理, 因为我还没有完全的领受上帝爱的奥秘. 高层级的教会就成了冰冷的地方, 让人觉得是一个层次分明, 瞧不起贫乏人的地方. 回想当年在黑暗的我, 其实怕光, 为保自己的尊严, 因为没有完美的信心.

今天我并没有风光, 但我却有盼望. 因为我的信心在上帝里面得安慰, 不用在责怪他人而保护自己的尊严. 其实这一切都在我懂得谦备的时候开始, 在我懂得不要面子的开始.

上帝, 我越来越矛盾, 无奈, 不知如何才爱的真确. 您的荣耀原来是令不完全的我们逃避. 所以当人不注重尊严的人, 会很有福气, 因为他知道他是软弱的. 当不介意人家如何评估自己, 自己也纯朴的评估他人.

原来谦备是敢敢放下尊严的道理. 基督徒该做生命的盐, 而不是追求世界的尊严.